I remember graduating from high school and how anxious I was about college. The feelings of anxiety, excitement and nervousness pumped through my veins nonstop that summer. One thought that really got me going was knowing that I had the greatest years of my life ahead of me, and that the sky was the limit. I could do whatever I wanted with myself and my life, I would meet tons of new people and my best friends would only be less than two hours away from Wilmington.
Fast forward four years. In the blink of an eye, nearly every single aspect of my life is completely different than I ever imagined it would be. I no longer play in bands like I did in high school, sports are nearly impossible due to numerous injuries, I no longer speak to anyone in my family with the exception of my father (whom I have a great relationship with) and although I have finally overcome my three year addiction to alcohol, I can't seem to quit smoking. Don't get me wrong; I absolutely love my life. This is by no means a pity trip. I work out five times a week, I have great roommates, my grades are finally on point and I feel like I have found myself.
The thing I can't seem to quit thinking about is my best friend. We met in middle school, but we never hung out together until my freshman year of high school. He was a year ahead of me in school and we both played football. After our first win in two seasons, he invited me out with some friends to celebrate and the rest is history. We were practically inseparable for years, even when I went to college in Wilmington while he stayed back home for school. It wasn't until this year that it seems like we have started to grow apart. It is strange, because as many close friends as I have had over the years he is the only person that I had ever talked to about what we were going to do together when we got old; how we would no longer play in bands together, but how we would still eat wings and watch football on Sundays, chase wild women, etc. Now, I am lucky to talk with him on a weekly basis.
It isn't that we have any hostility towards each other or anything like that, we have just grown up. Although we are both doing well and are happy with our lives, they have taken us in different directions. I am in college while he has established a successful career. He got married recently whereas I see myself being an eligible bachelor for many years to come. It upsets me to think about how much has changed but I have come to the conclusion that no matter what happens, change is inevitable. I'd still do anything for the guy and I know he would do the same for me.
I guess the one thing I need to understand is that this is nothing to be ill with. Everything happens for a reason, and although we don't talk nearly as much and we hardly see each other he is still my best friend. It is just frustrating. That is all for tonight. Hope this didn't bore you all too much.
I totally can relate to how you feel about your friendship with your best pal. My best friend and I met the summer before our junior year of high school. Ever since then, she's been like my sister. Even though we'll go weeks without talking, I can pick up the phone and it's like time never passed. It is scary and makes me sad to think there could be a time when we don't talk. Hopefully, our friendships will evolve and not become extinct.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to you with your friendships. Coming to college has taken a toll on the relationships with two of my best friends for numerous reasons. It really makes me sad that we have grown apart of the years, but I always remember the fun times we had together and I realize that we are growing up and moving on with our lives. Each of us went to different colleges and have created different paths for our lives. Everything does happen for a reason and I think its great that you consider him one of your best friends still. Just remember that y'all will always share memories from the past and can build on those memories as your lives change!
ReplyDeleteAw I really love your blog. Not boring at all! It is refreshing to see that a man can feel that way and have no problem sharing it. I can see why you are frustrated. I have old friends like that, too. We still love each other, but things are just different. The good news: for every old friend that drifts away, one new friend will fit right into your life. Life is a cycle, constantly changing. It's kind of neat in a way, but it is also sad when you think about things like this. The fact is that you and he grew up! It is so important to find who you are, and the fact that you have done that so young gives you an advantage. I hope you find other friends that will be large impacts in your life.
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